Drink Up: Three Views of UVa’s Season

Three Virginia football fans – an optimist, a pessimist and a realist – are in a bar talking about the 2004 season. The optimist sips white wine and enjoys the light buzz as he dreams of ACC championships and Orange Bowls. The realist savors his pint of Guinness. He’d like to have another, but he’s a man of moderation.

The pessimist throws back his fourth shot of Scotch and says, a bit too loudly, “Here’s why Hagans ain’t gonna work out at quarterback.”

“He’s too dang short, for one. They list him at 5-10. Ha! Take away his afro and the man is 5-8. I love Marques to death, don’t get me wrong. He’s a gamer. He’s a tough dude. But I want a guy who doesn’t need a stool to see over his linemen. Sure, he tore up Western Michigan. But remember how overwhelmed he looked against FSU a few years back? And all those times he lined up at QB for a play or two, he acted more like a tailback than a quarterback. To me, Hagans needs to stay at wide receiver. Especially now, with Ottowa off the team, that’s where we need him most.”

Optimist: “Too short? Like Joe Hamilton ? Like Doug Flutie? Come on, man. Stop being such an anti-heightite. Sure, Marques isn’t your prototype 6-4 robo-QB. But football, more and more, is becoming a game of speed, athleticism and playmaking ability. And believe me, Marques can make plays. He’s so elusive, he’ll drive defensive coordinators crazy. He’ll be the best running QB in UVa history. Plus the kid has a great arm! He throws a better deep ball than Schaub and he can wing it sideline to sideline. Most importantly, he’s a leader. His teammates believe in him. At that position, you want a winner. I’ll take a short winner over a tall loser any day.”

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