Tailgating With Chefhoo 2013: Maryland

I hope this is the last time I write about a Maryland tailgate. I’m doing cartwheels over never having to see their obnoxious fans again. I mean, I actually thought about doing an article on how to turn a burning couch into a grill. (It’s easier than you might think … you just have to get the flame right and find a place where the grate can stay put.) Just try not to think about what’s causing those off flavors in your food.

Besides annoying fans, horrific traffic, and an ugly campus, Maryland does have one huge redeeming quality … blue crabs. I’ve had blue crabs from all over the world, but nothing comes close to the crabs that come from the Chesapeake Bay. I grew up eating them from the time I was 4 years old and there are few meals I look forward to more. While it’s certainly easier to buy them already steamed, it’s not that hard to steam your own and I think you’ll find the results well worth the effort.

Your first task is to find LIVE crabs. The only place in Charlottesville that carries them is Anderson’s Seafood and they don’t always have them. The closer to the Bay you get, the easier it is to find them. There are countless places in Richmond and Northern Virginia, but it’s always best to call ahead and make sure they haven’t steamed them all. Because live crabs are extremely perishable, most places will steam them to insure they’ll keep for a day or two. Call ahead on Friday, make sure they have them available, and then reserve some live crabs to pick up on Saturday morning. Don’t assume you’ll be able find them on short notice!

So why live crabs? As with all seafood, the closer it is to life when you eat it, the better tasting it is. They should be alive when you put them in the pot. You should discard any dead crabs, as the meat becomes mushy and they have an off smell. And the feistier they are, the better they taste. I will always open the box and inspect them prior to leaving the seafood store.

Your second task is to find a good pot and a place to cook them. Trust me on this, if you have the means to cook them outside (a big side burner on your grill or a portable cooking unit) this should be your method. If you are going to cook inside and you don’t have a hood or fan that vents to the outside, you should set up a portable fan next to an open window. If you don’t follow these instructions, your house will smell like crabs for days. Trust me on this!

You should have a large pot big enough to fit all of your crabs. You will need about 2 gallons of pot for every dozen crabs. And you will need either a steamer insert or you should buy one of the steamer baskets that fit on the bottom of pots. I bought one of those huge seafood steamer pots (the ones with the removable steamer insert) many years ago at a grocery store and it has served me well over the years. I only cook crabs in it and it’s the only pot in which I cook crabs.

Your third task is to find a place to eat them. Whatever you do, do NOT eat them inside, unless you want your house to smell like crabs for weeks. If you don’t have a deck or porch, rent or buy fold-up tables and chairs and set them up in the yard. For easier (and safer) clean-up, put four of five layers of newspaper on top of the table – crab shells are sharp and the newspaper keeps them from cutting you and the trash bag. When it’s time to clean up, you simply roll up all the waste and put that in a trash bag. And my final advice when it comes to easy clean-up … make sure you double or triple bag your waste (and use lawn and garden trash bags). If the trash bag breaks in your trash can, you will NEVER get the smell out. I learned this lesson the hard way!

Experienced crab eaters can down a dozen or more, but I would plan on 4-8 crabs per person. And ice cold beer is by far the best beverage to have with your crabs.

Ingredients (this recipe assumes 2 dozen crabs)

• 2 dozen live and feisty blue crabs per person
• 1/2 cup yellow mustard
• 1 quart apple cider vinegar (approximate)
• 1 non-dark beer
• 1-2 cups of Old Bay or your seafood seasoning of choice
• 1 cup pickling spice or crab boil (optional)
• Melted butter, vinegar, and extra seafood seasoning on the side

Time To Cook

When you get your crabs home, store them in a cool, dark place (in a container that doesn’t leak). They usually come in a cardboard box, so I will actually put that box in a trash bag and leave the trash bag open so they can get air. When you are ready to cook them, put something in the drain of your sink (a stopper or plastic wrap) so it will hold liquid. Put a gallon of ice in the sink and then fill the sink with enough cold water that will hold the crabs. Putting them in ice water subdues them and makes them easier to clean and put them in the pot.

It might sound odd to clean your crabs, and most crab houses don’t do this. But crabs live in the mud and often burrow in it. This mud can lead to off flavors in your crabs. After they’ve been in the ice water for a few minutes and you can handle them easily (I would still use dishwashing gloves and always grab them from behind), take a wad of paper towels and clean off any visible mud.

Pour one beer in the bottom of your pot and put in enough vinegar so that the liquid comes up to, but not over, the steamer basket. This mixture will flavor your crabs better than water, but water will work fine. Take the mustard and water it down until it’s the consistency of half and half (you just need to be able to brush it on the crabs). Carefully (use tongs if you are wary of picking up a live crab) place a single layer of crabs over the steam basket. Brush the mustard water on top of the crabs (this helps the spice adhere to the crabs and adds another layer of flavor). Cover the crabs with a healthy layer of seafood seasoning and sprinkle pickling spice on top of that. Repeat this until you have layered all of your crabs with mustard water, seafood seasoning, and pickling spice. Cover (if your pot doesn’t have a cover, use aluminum foil, but you have to cover the pot tightly or they won’t steam properly). If you’re cover is not tight, the liquid will evaporate and you could scorch the bottom of the pot (and ruin the pot and the crabs!).

Turn your fan on high (don’t forget to do this!), turn the heat to high, and once the beer and vinegar come to a boil, it should take 25-35 minutes to steam your crabs. Test a leg and break it open. If the meat is loosened from the shell, the crabs are done. If the meat sticks to the shell, then they need a few more minutes. It’s actually better to slightly overcook your crabs than undercook them.

Remove the pot from the burner and take the crabs outside (unless you’re coooking outdoors already of course!). Let them sit for about 10 minutes to cool off. Rather than pouring them out onto the newspaper (which looks great but leads to cold crabs, particularly in the fall when there is a chill in the air), leave them in the covered pot and take them out as needed. Serve with melted butter, vinegar, and extra spice.

You will need wooden mallets and sharp butter knifes. The mallet should only be used on the legs and they only need a light crack to get them started (don’t crush them or you will end up eating shell). The sharp end of the butter knife is a great tool to dig out the crab from the shell, both from the body and the legs.

If you don’t like crab feasts, read this article from the Maryland game in 2011 for some great blue crab recipes.